Secrets, secrets are no fun
Unless they’re shared by everyone
– Author Unknown
We all know about secrets — having them, keeping them and having them kept from us. In my case, I felt a lot of people knew secrets about my accident and I set out a couple of years ago to unearth them. Granted, what-I-believed-to-be the so-called “secrets” were often straightforward things like someone’s stories, a medical record or a hazy recollection. Yet to me, these were secrets of a grand proportion for the simple reason that no one had ever told me about these things before.
Just why did I need to know these things and why did I need to know why? In fact, why does anyone need to know why?
It seems science answers this for us, which comes as a great relief to me since these are the things I would otherwise have thought too much about. “Why is what drives not only everything we do, but also our emotional reactions to everything that happens to us,” says the Buddhist doctor Alex Lickerman, author of the blog, Happiness in This World, Reflections of a Buddhist Physician. “The negative impact of being left in the dark about why things are done the way they are can be so extreme for some people that explaining our thinking to others actually represents an opportunity to contribute to their well-being. Research has suggested that taking the time to explain yourself will help your children develop a moral conscience, your students achieve mastery, your employees stay happy, and your personal relationships flourish.”
Ahhh, it feels so good to hear stuff like this. It confirms how important it is to understand the context of our lives. It is (in my opinion) the essence of Kierkegard‘s quote, “Life must be lived forward, but can only be understood backwards.”
If there is an easier way, please let me know.