Minimize, Maximize or Somewhere In Between

I was talking to my friend Merry about writing this blog and putting together a book about the burned leg. She has heard bits and pieces of the story over the years, and I was explaining how this is the compilation of those various storyline threads. “It must be very emotional for you doing this,” she said. “Not so much,” I replied. “Have you thought of getting counseling to work through the issues this has brought up?” she sincerely asked. “Well, not really. The most profound effect so far has been my understanding how this has affected others, like my parents rather than me.” I continued. “I guess if I hadn’t been able to live as full a life as I have, I might have been bitter or felt I had more issues, but that hasn’t been my story.” She sighed. “You are minimizing this,” she replied. Her comment has lingered with me for a couple of weeks. Minimized? I wonder if that is because I’ve never maximized it. I wonder if things can happen to you and you are be generally okay with them, find meaning in them, even inspiration sometimes. What I am writing isn’t pure Pollyanna at all but what I want people to take away is that there is a resolution to everything so long as you open the door to seeing beyond your narrow self. Still, I wonder if part of the effect of any injury is to either bawl your head off or to pretend it isn’t so bad. Or, can you live with a comme ci, comme ca middle-of-the-road feeling?


  1. As I read this post I was reminded of why those comments I made to Anne were right on the surface for me. Then I remembered. My mother, who is going on 90, started therapy this year. Apparently when she was 4 years old she and her sister were sent to an orphanage for a year while her mother was ill. There were no visits from her father or anyone in the family. I had never heard about this before. Apparently the feelings of abandoment and insecurity were pushed way down. In fact she never even acknowledged them for over 80 years. This is a mind blow to me. Merry


    1. Being sent to an orphanage at 4 is enough to send anyone over the deep end. I think it’s remarkable that at 90 she is addressing this. For some counseling works, for others; other things. I am amazed at how small thing affect people in large ways and vice verse. We are all so incredibly unique.


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